Burning Houses
by misplacedpuzzlepiece
Summary: Sequel to Very Much Alive. 15 years is a long time, but can it really make true love burn out? Can it change what destiny had already set in stone? I promised to never look back, but it was like a big black hole. You can't make up for lost time, all you can do is try and make things right. But how easy was that going to be? Jax X Logan Abel x OC Nova x Toby Alex x Raven RATED M
1. Chapter 1

**Well here we are again ladies and gentlemen.**

 **Logan Teller back with the bullshit.**

 **Haha, just kidding.**

 **But it's been a while, almost too long I believe.**

 **But that's a good thing. Nothing crazy or abnormal has happened; the kids and I have finally gotten the chance to live a happy normal life away from the craziness that Charming always seemed to have.**

 **Alabama wasn't the best place in the world, I'm sure. But it was home to us. The kids didn't have any complaints, and neither did I anymore.**

 **But 15 years.. What a long time. 15 years can do a lot to a person, to a family. So let me get you caught up...**

 **Let's start with my sweet babyboy Abel, who wasn't a baby anymore.**

 **22 years old, Harley salesmen by day, Harley rider by night; there was no doubt about it, he was Jaxon Tellers son. He didn't live at home anymore, which I was still getting used to, but he was an adult. He was a little slut just like his dad too, but what can you do? I've preached to him about condoms til I was blue in the face, and seeing as I don't have any grandchildren yet, it seemed to be quite effective. He was a spitting image of his father at 22; crazy.**

 **Nova? Ah, my little juvenile delinquent who had more of her fathers attitude than the other two combined. 5 small charges before she was 18; but thank God they were before she was 18, the kid got a second chance to not fuck things up. Turning 21 in just a few weeks, working on a degree at an online university. She wanted to be a music teacher, I wonder who she got that from? She was my sweet little punk-rock princess. But I'd give anything to have that little 5lb 6oz babygirl back to hold in my arms.**

 **Now Jade? She no longer went by Jade, it was Alex these days. I'm not sure how.. But I raised an old soul flower child hippie. She traded her blonde curls in for dreadlocks with pink tips. She had gauges that were almost an inch, a septum ring, and much like her brother and sister, covered in tattoos. She didn't want to go to college, which I supported. She just graduated and turned 18, she had time. She was living at home making decent money as a store manager at the Spencers at the mall, and she sold weed on the side to make extra cash. 2031 and Alabama still isn't one of the 30 states to legalize fully.**

 **So my kids? They were grown. Me? 44-years-old, single, a teacher still, but I went back to get my masters when we first moved here, so I conduct college classes now. Not much has really changed, except for maybe some wrinkles and a few grey hairs, but age will do that to you.**

 **So, why am I here, writing again?**

 **Because 15 years was up.**

 **I had kept my children far away from that hell-hole Charming, CA, just like I had promised Jaxon that night when they hauled him off to jail. I left and never looked back.**

 **But Jax was getting out of jail today. While I had stayed far away from the place, I couldn't lose total contact. I'm sure if Gemma wouldn't have passed away so soon after we left it would have been harder for me to not contact them. The only person I stayed in contact with? Amanda. But we both kept that a secret.**

 **However, my childrens father getting out of jail? I couldn't keep that secret when I had an almost 21-year-old keeping track of the day. And that leads me to where we are today.**

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"Absolutely fucking not!" I yelled at my brunette daughter. She sat across the table, giving me evil eyes as she puffed a cigarette. The humidity was too much and not helping my frustration in the least bit.

"I'm almost 21 fucking years old." she spat back at me. She put her cigarette out and got up from the table, beginning to walk towards her bedroom. "You can't tell me what to do forever." She yelled as I heard her stomp up the steps.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, cupping my face in my hands. Was parenting ever going to get any easier? Probably not. I heard the front door swing open.

"Hey ma," It was Abel, thank God. Maybe he could talk some sense into his sister. He came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, sitting down at the table where Nova previously was. "Where are Nova and Alex?"

"Alex is working until 5 and Nova.. Having another meltdown over today." My son sighed, just looking out the window and shaking his head.

"She should really let it go. That place is no good." At least one of my kids had sense. "But it would be good to see dad." Or not.

"Abel.."

"Hear me out, mom." He reached over the table, grabbing my hands. He looked at me with those same damning eyes his father looked at me with so many years ago. "Dads getting out of prison for the first time in 15 years. If I recall, the two of you left on good terms."

"That's not the point, Abel."

He rolled his eyes. "You did your job. You took us away from that place, just like he asked you to. You raised us far away, gave us a good life." I smiled. He always knew how to boost my ego. "But Charming was a part of all of us; the club was a part of all of us. I think if Nova wants to go back to see dad, she should be able to. It's not a bad idea for a family trip."

"Absolutely fucking not, Abel Christopher."

"You know all of us are over 18, right?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking at me. Alright, maybe Nova wasn't the only one to get her fathers attitude. He leaned back in the chair, a cocky tone washing over his voice. "So I mean it's either come with us, or we go on our own. Your choice."

"Is this what today is?!" I vented to him. "I swear to God-" While those two inherited Jaxs attitude, Alex got his perfect timing. I slid my phone open, reading the text message from my youngest.

 **Sooo me and Nov have been talking and we wanna go see dad. I took my two weeks vacation as of tomorrow. Abel is for it too. Love you!**

"God fucking damn it." I let my head hit the table with a groan.

"It wouldn't be the end of the world, Ma. Besides, I'm sure everyone would be happy to see you. Who knows what all could have changed in 15 years?" Not much, kiddo. Maybe if I told them I stayed in contact with Amanda about things.. No, that would make it worse.

"You're all really going to go, with or without me?" he tried to play it off, but gave me a nod. He let out a deep breath and then reached for a cigarette, lighting it up. "When were you three planning on leaving?"

Nova burst back into the kitchen, carrying a few of her bags down. "Tonight, after Alex gets home." she put her hands on her hips. I just kept shaking my head, because it was the only response I could find. My kids, however, thought it was funny and giggled.

"This isn't a fucking joke." They knew I was serious, because they both shut up. "I.. I can't protect you from that place, from those things anymore." I wanted to cry. I'd always protect my children; with my last dying breath I would keep them safe. But they were adults now, and there was only so much I could keep from them.

"Ma," Abel grabbed my hands again. "There's nothing to protect us from. We aren't moving there, or staying long; two weeks. Two weeks to see dad and get closure over some things, that's it. We just want to see our dad, someone who went to jail for some awful shit to save us, to get us out of there."

And even though it was me who did all the work over the years, who put in all the effort, who worked an honest way to give them the life they deserved.. It was Jax who was the hero, Jax who got the credit. My husband (yeah, the divorce that last 20 years) who was never there, was the one who got all the credit. Closure was just what they needed, maybe they'd like me a little more for once.

"Fine."

"Come on, _MOM!"_ Nova shot at me. Abel and I both looked at her like she was stupid. Her eyes got wide. "Oh, wait, shit. Did she say fine? Fuck yeah."

I rolled my eyes. I was making a mistake.

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40 hours later and I was having DejaVu of 22 years ago.

 **Now Entering Charming, California. Keep our little town charming.**

Abel drove his truck down so he could bring his bike in the back, and Nova rode with him. Alex had no issue riding with me, which was nice. I enjoyed her music more than Abel and Novas and we didn't argue nearly as much.

"This is Charming?" she asked, looking out the window. I chuckled. "Can you remind me why we're excited for this?" she looked really amazed. Heflin, Alabama wasn't anything special or big, but it was better, nicer, than this place. Charming was just a run-down family owned small town full of gangs and violence, I don't care what anyone had to say. At least in Alabama we were safe from this shit.

"Jaxon Teller." I assured her. I watched her eyes light up.

"Do you think daddy will be excited to see us? He doesn't even know we're coming." She seemed so anxious, and that was understandable. I knew what she was feeling, and it wasn't something easy to deal with.

"Yes he does." I assured her. No better time than the present to start being honest. Plus Alex was so young when we left Charming, she didn't remember much of anything; not even Jax, really. She was always asking her older siblings questions over the years about him, and those two could talk about him for hours. "At least I think he does. I gave an old friend a phone call last night, let her know we were on our way into town. Not sure if you three numb skulls did your research or anything, but unless you're a crackhead or a prostitute, you do not wanna stay at that hotel you booked. I have somewhere for us to stay."

"Are you nervous to see him?" I couldn't help but smile at her questions.

"I'm not sure nervous is the right word. I'm feeling something, I'm just not quite sure what it is yet."

I made a right turn onto Harber St., Abel turned right behind me.

"What's this place?" she asked me as I pulled into the garage parking lot.

Nothing had really changed, the cars were just newer and I didn't know any of the faces working at the garage. It still looked the same, even the same old door on the club house; you could see where they patched over the marks from my fists I put there so many years ago. So many memories and emotions washed over me when I parked the car, not sure if I should get out or just drive all the way back home. I guess now, being in Charming, was a bad time to make that choice.

"Mom!" It must have been the third of fourth time she said my name. I snapped out of my own thoughts and killed the engine, giving my youngest a fake smile. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

I nodded. "Are you?"

She looked down at her lap, twirling her thumbs. I hopped out of the car and over to her side, opening the door. Abel and Nova got out of his truck, coming over to meet me.

"Nice Harley!" I heard a voice from the door say. We all turned, seeing a young man around their age, patched into the club. And God damn it I could guess who he was by how much he looked like his father. "Can I help you folks?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Toby Winston, don't you know how to greet family you ain't seen in years?"

He looked at me crooked at first and then his eyes grew and his draw dropped.

"Aunt Logan?" he questioned. I just gave him a smile and within seconds we were hugging each other tight; his hugs were like Opies, too. "Mom said something about you guys coming into town, I just didn't know she meant today. Fuck." he looked over me and then moved on to the children he had grown up with. Him and Abel immediately hugged, then he and Nova.

"I can't believe it." Nova noted, pulling away from the hug. "It's been so long, man. This feels so fucking crazy to be back here."

Alex was being very shy, reverting back to her age 7 behaviors. She stood behind me like a cowaring little mouse, afraid of a cat.

"Jade?" he questioned towards her. I pushed her forward and she jumped.

"It's actually Alex. Who are you?" he smiled and shook her hand.

"Toby Winston. Yeah, I guess you really wouldn't remember me and my sister. You were really little when we used to have sleepovers."

"We used to hang out?" Abel, Nova and Toby all chuckled, but she didn't seem to get the joke.

"Honey, Toby and Raven were pretty much your best friends growing up. You guys spent a lot of time together. Speaking of," I glanced around. "Where's your sister? Your mum and dad?"

Toby began walking towards the clubhouse, and we fell in line behind him. "Raven's at work at the hospital until 6, mom's over at the studio doing some editing and finishing up there and dad's inside, he, erm, he just got back from picking Jax up a couple things he needed for the house." And that name hit my spine like lightening.

"Is Jax, I mean, uh, my dad, inside?" Nova asked, her anxiety beginning to take over her. My girls may have been grown, but they were both holding one of my hands in that moment.

Toby nodded, opening the door. Abel walked in behind him, then Nova, then me and then Alex. That smell was so familiar to me and it brought back so many memories; too many memories.

"Aye," Toby shouted over to his dad who hopped up and ran across the room, grabbing me up in a huge hug.

"HENDY!" He cheered, spinning me around and then setting me down. "God, girl. The years have treated you good." I slapped his arm and he laughed. "Damn, the kids have grown up. Come here!" he told them. Nova and Abel immediately gave their Uncle Ope a hug, telling them how much they missed him and this place. Alex was shy at first, again, and then she gave him a hug too. "So, you raised a biker," he pointed to Abel. "A grunge-punk-I'm-not-really-sure-90s-rocker of some sort," he pointed at Nova, who wasn't quite sure what he was talking about; Fuck, we were old. "And a beautiful flower child with dreads I could only dream of having." And that broke the ice bewteen he and Alex, a huge smile plastered on her face.

The happy emotions were short lived for me when I saw who walked out from the hallway.

"Holy shit." Was all he had to say. Nice to see Amanda had done her job and informed him we were coming.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna give you guys a minute." Opie grabbed two more beers and headed outside, pulling Toby with him by the shoulder.

The past 15 years of my life didn't seem to matter in that moment. My life was standing infront of me. You'd think time would let these feelings fade away and let me be alright, but they didn't. But this trip wasn't for me, it wasn't for him. It was for his children, the children he hadn't seen or heard from in 15 years.

"What're you.." he paused, walking over to his children, so much emotion in his eyes. "What're you doing back here?" he shot at me, trying to cover his emotion.

"Hey," It looked like Abels voice had shocked him; the last time he heard it he was 6, after all. "Don't blame her or get mad. We wanted this. We're adults and we made an adult decision to come back here and see our father."

And Jax accepted that, bringing his son into a huge hug. I hadn't seen Jax cry very many times, but I could add this one to the list.

"My little girl," he opened his arms and Nova ran into them, hugging him tight. "God you're so fucking tall." She laughed at that.

And he looked over next to me, this bashful little blonde-pink headed girl staring at him with wide eyes. My two oldest remembered their father fairly well. They were old enough to retain memories of him and this town, which part of me hated. But Alex? she didn't remember anything, not a single thing about him. He made his way over to us slow.

"God you look just like your mother." He looked Alex all over, taking in this beautiful person we created. "That pink hair is badass, girl." He tried to hug her, but Alex declined.

"I'm sorry." she told him, her tone a little off. "I just.. I don't know you."

"Alex!" Nova shot. Jax spun around to her.

"Hey." his stern voice never ceased to make me jump in my skin. "She's right, she doesn't know me." he looke down at the floor, hurt by that. "So she needs time to get to know me. Wasn't lucky enough like you two brats to remember this _great_ place." I rolled my eyes. Yeah, Charming was so great.

"I'm sorry." Alex told her father. "I've tried to remember you everyday for as long as I can remember, but there's just nothing there." she looked sad. Jax wrapped his arm aorund her shoulders.

"Hey, kid. It's alright. All that matters is you're here now." he gave her a soft smile and then walked back behind the bar. "If I'm correct the only one old enough to drink is Abel." Nova and Alex rolled their eyes. "But I never was very good at following the rules." I chuckled at him. Some old Jax, that was for sure. He got all of us a drink, him, Abel and myself having a beer while the girls drank something a little fruity. "How long are you guys staying?" he asked Abel.

"Two weeks. Couldn't take a lot of time off from the shop, boss would kill me is we lost that many sales."

"Where you workin boy?"

"Harley Store out in Mobile. Pays the bills and I get super cheap parts for my bike." And I saw a fire in Jaxons eyes I hadn't seen in many years.

"A bike?" he asked our son. "Did you ride it down?"

And they were lost in their own conversation after that, heading outside to unload Abels bike and look it over.

"Mom," Nova called for me. I was watchig my boys, my _men,_ enjoying a hobby they both had, a genetic hobby if you ask me. "You wanna smoke some pot?" I turned around, looking at her with my 'mom' look.

"I hate when you ask me like that. It sounds.. Dirty. Ask like a normal fucking person." I pulled out my cigarette pack and pulled out a joint, lighting it. "But yes." Nova came trotting over to me, taking a seat on top of the picnic table. God, I spent so many years here.

Maybe it was the head change from the killer Bubba Kush I had, or maybe it was some type of nostalgia. I sat on that picnic bench, looking to my right at Alex, who was off in her own thoughts; it must have been a rough day so far for her, rushing back to this place she knew nothing about. To my immediate left was Nova looking over to her brother and father, a smile plastered on her face. I looked past her over to my boys; Jax, Abel, Opie and Toby. They looked like their were having the time of their lives.

I just sat there, lost in my own thoughts, in all my memories. All the people that have come and gone through this place, the people I've sat on this table with.

When I was 16 and I got black out drunk of the first time, and Jax sat out here all night with me while I threw my guts up.

When I was 18 and we moved the table out to the middle of the parking lot and laid out on it my last night home before moving to Pittsburgh, just watching the stars and talking about everyhting and nothing.

When I was 23 and pregnant with Nova, sitting out here eating watermelon and she started moving like crazy and Jax felt her kick the first time.

When I was 25 and I came home from the hospital after losing Thomas and Gemma and I sat up all night talking about how we felt.

All the memories with Donna.

All the memories with Gemma.

All the memories with Opie.

All the memories with Jax.

All the memories with everyone, a lot of people who I'd never have new memories with again.

But there were still a lot of people who I could make memories with, who I got this little bit of extra time with.

"Mom," Nova poked me in the cheek, giving me her wide puppy eyes. "Did you hear me?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry baby. My head was really loud." Nova shook her head and smirked.

"I asked if maybe we could go get food, drop our shit off where we're staying. I wanna change and stuff." I nodded. I could get them dropped off at Amandas and I could go visit a few people I really needed to see.

We walked over to Jax, snapping the boys out of their Harley trance.

"Hey, Ope. Uhm the kids wanna get their stuff dropped off and changed at the house and stuff. Think you can ride over with us?" He nodded, pushing past the guys to head inside to grab his keys.

"You gonna be here for a while, pop?" Abel asked, finishing off his beer and tossing it in a trash can.

He nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not goin anywhere, waiting for the rest of the guys to get back. You guys are back, this is great. We're gonna party tonight!" Abel and Nova cheered with their dad and Toby, excited for what the night had in store. _Oh God._ An SOA party. Christ. I was getting too old for this shit.

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I dropped Alex off at Opie and Amandas, Abel would have room in his truck for her after they unloaded their bags from the back seat.

I took off down to a familiar place, a place I could always find peace. A place to see those I left behind 15 years ago; South Charming Cemetary.

I parked my car off to the side, eyeing up that big oak tree, shading over 100 headstones, American flags sticking from the ground and swaying in the wind. I made my way over to the family plots, where they all were.

I stood there, hands in my pocket.

"Hey little boy." My sweet sweet baby boy would be almost 20 years old. "It's been a long time." A tear fell out of my eye. "I.. I, uh.. I'm sorry I left, but if I could have I would have taken you with me." A few more tears fell out of my eyes. "You know, Tommy, I would have given my life a million times, a million different deaths to have you here, to give you the life you never got to have." God I fucking missed him. "I love you my sweet baby." I bent down and placed a kiss on the cold marble. I composed myself and got back up, walking a few plots down.

J.T. and Gemma.

This was the only place I ever got to meet J.T., but I felt close to him somehow. All the times I came here with Jax, saw the comfort he felt here. I felt it too. I never met the man but I felt like I really knew him.

Gemma.

Jesus Christ.

She was so mad at me when I left. I didn't let the kids say goodbye, I didn't tell anyone where I was going. God she was so fucking mad.

And I never talked to her again.

"Hey Gem," I sat down infront of her indian style, like I always did when we talked. I lit up a joint I had in my cigarette pack. "It's been a long time. I'm sorry I left you, Gemma. I'm sorry I left Charming, because I know you hated that I did. But I had to, Gem. It was the right thing to do. It's what Jaxon told me to do. I'm so sorry I never got to come back. I think I did a good job raising the kids, you'd be so proud of them. God, Nova reminds me so much of you; it scares me half to death." I laughed at that one. "I still love your son, Gem. I always will. I'll love him until I can't love anymore.. And I hate it. I wish I could stop. I wake up everyday just wishing I couldn't love him. 15 fucking years and I've come back, still completely in love with him. And the way the kids look up to him, still to this day.. Fuck, Gemma." My phone ringing snapped me out of the conversation I was having; it was Abel.

"Hey, baby." I stood up, putting out the joint that was down to the stinger. "Yeah, I'm on my way there now. Don't y'all start partying too hard without me." I heard him chuckle; just like his fucking father.

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 **A/N- Hope you guys liked the first chapter of my sequel. I have really big plans for this, so if I get enough reviews and see there's enough interest I'll keep going with this. I hope you guys enjoyed it so much!**


	2. Chapter 2

I arrived back at the clubhouse with barely anywhere to park. To parking lot was full of cars, bikes and people, drinking, smoking and dancing all naked girls and men adorned in kuttes, all part of SAMCRO. I got out of my car and two very familiar people ran up to me, smothering me with hugs; Chibbs and Tig.

"Little las is back in town!" Chibbs picked me up in a big hug, swinging me around in a circle. As soon as my feet touched the ground Tig was wrapped around me next, nearing cracking my ribs from his hug.

"And those kids of yours? WEW. You did a good job, girl." He patted me on the back. The three of us walked inside, heading to the bar to get drinks.

"So how's it been goin' darlin'?" Chibbs sat down on a bar stool and I hopped up next to him. One of the crow eaters served me up a whiskey sour, just how I liked it.

"It's been good, ya know. It's busy being a single parent to 3 kids." And it was far from easy, too. Every day was a trial from the day we left Charming; I was on my own. For the first time in my life, I was really on my own. It tested me, but it built me and made me strong. I wasn't the same Logan that left 15 years ago, that was for sure.

"You done a mighty fine job though." We clanked the shot glasses infront of us and both threw back the Jameson. It had been so long so I drank, but God it felt good. I needed this, I really did.

I looked around the bar, the oddest feeling rushing over me. I saw Abel sitting nex to his handsome father at the bar, doing shots with Opie and Toby, while he fancied over one of the crow eaters. Nova was running the pool table, like always. This momma didn't raise no fool. She was playing with Juice and three members I didn't know.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Alex come up after getting a drink and sitting down next to her dad, him hugging her, and then her joining in with their conversation. This trip had turned my stomach completely unside down and back around, but I felt settling. Nothing was going wrong or crazy, and they were having a good time.

I spent th beginning half of my evening with Chibbs and Tig, playing a few rounds of pool and conversating with Nova and Juice, who were talking about some band I had never heard of. He was about 25 years too old for her and would never to do that me or Jax, but I was going to watch him like a fucking hawk.

I had a good buzz going and walked outside where it was less smokey, so I could take a smoke break. I pulled a joint out of my cigarette pack and sparked it up. I looked up at the night sky; so bright, so beautiful. Maybe I was drunk, or maybe I had just missed home that much, but it looked extra beautiful tonight and I felt extra happy.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went." Two arms touching my hips made me jump, spinning completely around and nearly throwing a punch.

"Jesus, fuck!" My heart was beating out of my chest and I dropped my joint. Jax fumbled to the ground, picking it back, brushing it off, hitting it, and then handing it back over to me. "You scared the shit out of me."

He chuckled, flashing me that devilish grin of is. It made my cheeks and thighs feel hot all at the same time.

"So the kids have really.. Grown up." he commented. Her was nervous, he jammed his hands in his pockets. "I feel like a piece of shit, Logan. 15 fucking years I missed. Hell, Alex doesn't even know who I am, not really." he looked at the ground kicking it. I could tell it was bothering him. "I'm sorry I left this all on your shoulders." he sat down on the picnic bench, just staring at the ground. I took a seat next to him and slapped his thigh with my open hand.

"Don't talk like that." I started on him. I finished my drink and slammed the empty glass down on the table. "Yeah, you did miss 15 years. But you missed those 15 years to save your kids and to give them a life they could never have here. You made the best decision there was to make at the time, Jax." I grabbed his hand with mine. "And I'll thank you for that for the rest of my life. You got us out of this place." It made me emotional thinking about it all, but I pushed it aside; I was not ruining my buzz. "Let's go get some shots with our kids; I think it's only right." He smiled at me, standing back up and walking side.

I think we killed a bottle of Patron by our selves. I didn't remember much by the time 2am came around; it was a brown-out night. I was drunk and my head was spinning, but I needed to find and check in on my children.

Abel was asleep in a chair, holding a beer still in his hand. Alex was asleep on the pool table, curled up with her dads SOA sweatshirt as a blanket, and Nova was at the end of the bar, still wide awake chatting it up with Toby Winston. They were good to go. I had to pee, and hopefully pass out soon.

I stumbled my way down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I got my pants down and just sat, leaning forward into my arms that were propped up on my knees. The room was spinning and my eyes were so heavy. I was so drunk I couldn't even fucking piss.

I nearly did when someone barging through the door scared me.

"Hey!" I shouted. I calmed down when I saw who it was. Jax walked back out the door, closing it.

"Uh, sorry." he called through the door.

Ugh. I had no option anymore. "No," I hiccuped. "It's okay." I hiccuped again. "I need your help." He cracked the door open. "Come in and close it." Hiccup.

He did as I had asked, keeping his back turns from me.

"Christ, Jaxon," I stood up, pulling my pants back up and buttoning them. "You've watched me give birth; twice. Don't act bashful now." And so he turned back around, giving me a look fit for a toddler.

"What did you need my help with?"

I thought for a second. Well, he couldn't help me pee and I seemed to have gotten up and my pants back on just fine. I didn't even know. "I can't remember."

We both stood there in awkward silence for a few moments, neither of us able to stop swaying back and forth from all the liquor we had drank over the course of the evening. And then, I made a stupid drunk decision.

There was a brief moment, right before, where our eyes met and it was like they opened a door to a whole other universe; like every memory and emotion I had ever had towards Jaxon Teller came flooding back to me all at once. I craved him like a fucking junkie craved a bag of dope and a clean needle.

And I lunged at him, jumping him like a lion jums an anteloupe. Our lips met immediately and he accepted, pulling me close. He wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling my pelvis to his, and his other hand held the back of my head, keeping our kiss deep.

He started venturing off, kissing my jawline and then my neck, going back and forth between the two. He pulled my shirt off to the side, kissing my shoulder. I had goosebumps all over my body and cold chills running down my spine; everywhere he kissed me felt like an electric pulse.

He reached down, grabbing up my thighs and pulled me up and around him. I wrapped my legs tight around him and my arms around his neck, twining a few of my fingers through his thick blonde hair. 44 and 48 years old and we still had the sex drive of teenagers; I don't think that would ever change.

But doing the math, I doubt either of us had had sex in a long time. I haven't in damn near 5 years, and considering he's been in state for 15 years, I doubt he had either.

He pulled away from our kissing, biting his lip and looking at me like a piece of steak, hot off the grill. "Do you wanna take this into my room?" God, his old clubhouse dorm room. I nodded, pulling him back in for kisses. He used his foot to open the bathroom door, not breaking our kiss as he carried me two doors down, kicking it open. He used my body to close it, pushing me up against the door.

He bit my neck, causing me to moan and _yip!_. While his right arm was under me, supporting my weight, he snuck his left one under and up my shirt, making no time getting my bra off of me. I squirmed to get down, not breaking our kiss as my feet hit the floor. I felt him use his pointed and middle finger to pinch my nipple a bit, making them both go hard instantly. I wasn't a fucking spring chicken anymore, but I knew I was as wet as faucet.

The two of us kept kissing, taking no time stripping down. I shook my pants off and pulled my shirt over my head and then unclasped my bra. It took Jax all of two seconds to get butt ass naked, his fully hard cock right infront of me.

I traced my fingers up and down his chest, biting my lip. He cocked his head, looking at me with a smirk. I came up and hugged him, kissing his neck and his shoulders. I made my one day slowly, bending my legs a little bit with each kiss. Soon enough I was on my knees, his cocking pointing straight up at me. It had been so long; so fucking long. I missed it, God I missed it so much.

Jax grabbed the back of my head with his right hand, getting a fistful of hair; he knew I liked it rough. I teased him at first, just flicking the tip with my tongue and pulling it in just to swirl my tongue around.

"Fuck," he murmered out. "Please." he begged, trying to push my head down on it. I gave in, pulling more of his cock into my mouth. I bobbed my head back and forth, looking up to see him throw his head back. I relaxed my throat and took a big breath, holding it as I slid his member literally down my throat. I had never heard such a moan escape his lips. He pushed my head, keeping it locked in position. I gagged and gagged and he moaned and moaned more. Finally I pushed away, coughing for air as I pulled his cock from my throat. He looked down at my, smiling, stroking his cock. "Get in the bed." he demanded. He didn't have to tell me twice.

I hopped up into the bed, laying there with my legs spread wide. There was as visable wet spot on my panties and I could feel my wetness running down onto my left ass cheek. I was turning myself on.

"Mm," he moaned at me like an animal. He slowly climbed on top of me, finding my lips with his own once again. He kissed me, making his way from my lips, to my neck and finally my breast, taking my entire nipple into his mouth. I gasped out, the pleasure being too much; I was always so sensitive with my boobs.

He licked and suckled my nipples, slowly sneaking his hand down the front of my panties, feeling my slit. I nearly jumped at his touch; I wanted him so fucking bad. He seperated my lips, letting go of my nipple to moan a bit when he felt my wetness.

"Fuck baby." he moaned to me. He pulled his fingers back out of my panties, showing me my sticky wetness between his fingers. He stuck his tongue out, cleaning the two wet fingers off, moaning at my taste. "Spread your legs." he demanded of me. I did as I was told, spreading my legs wide and laying back. Not unlike usual, I'd never be able to wear those underwear again; ripped in half.

"Tell my what you want, baby." he told me. His head was right between my thighs, I could feel his breath against my core. God, I wanted him so bad.

"Eat me."

"What? I couldn't hear you." He loved fucking with me, but what he didn't know was that I wasn't playing this time. I grabbed a big handful of his hair, pulling it so he would look right at me.

"I said eat this fucking pussy." And I shoved his head down. He didn't fight, just dove straight in, wrapping his arms around my legs to hold me tight against him.

I felt like my body was going into shock as he swirled his tongue all around my clit, up and down, back and forth, side to side, circles. I coudn't help it but my body jerked with every movement he made. He freed up a hand, using it to spread my lips to get a good view at my clit; he pressed his lips to it, sucking on it. I was losing my fucking mind from how good it felt.

I grabbed at the sheets, leaning my head back. "Fuck, Jax." I moaned out. He moved his tongue faster, nearly bringing me to my climax, but stopped. Always such a fucking tease. "Baby please fuck me." I begged him, wanting to cum more than anything. He rubbed two of his fingers against my entrance, shoving them deep into me. I gasped, pleasure taking over my body. He pumped in and out a few times before pulling them out and shoving them in my mouth. He lined his thick hard cock up with me, teasing my entrance with the head of it. "God, please!" I shouted, begging him for his sex like I was begging for my life.

His left hand grabbed the headboard and his right hand grabbed my neck, pushing his entire length inside of me. I caught my breath, feeling him at the bottom of my lungs.

"Oh, fuck, Jax." I managed to moan out over being choked. He picked up the pace and I wrapped my legs around him, making him go deeper. With each stroke he went harder and faster, making me moan more and more. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I moaned out again and again. In a quick movement he rolled me over and pulled me up by my hips, sliding back into me. He shoved my face down into the pillow, moaning loud as he fucked me harder than I had been fucked in years.

"I'm gonna cum." I whined out. He went harder and faster, getting himself close to climax with me. We were both so close, ready to cum together and then collapse; and then the door opened.

"Oh holy fuck!" Nova shouted, just standing there, disgust and surprise on her face. "Shit!" She just stood there. Jax and I fumbled around to cover up and I grabbed a pillow, chucking it at her head.

"Nova Rae, get out!" I shouted at the door. She closed it immediately.

"Sorry," she called through the door. "I was looking for the bathroom.. Jesus fuck, mom!"

My face was bright red, I covered it with my hands; God, what did I do?

"Hey," Jax shouted through the door. "Don't talk to your mother like that. She's a god damn adult and can do what she wants."

"And by do what she wants you mean you, right?"

"Nova!" Jax and I both shouted through the door. I heard her boots click down the hallway. I feel back onto the bed, groaning.

Jax laid down next to me, giggling.

"It's not funny." I told him seriously.

He tried to compose himself, but couldn't. His laughter was contagious and I couldn't help but laugh myself; it was funny, he was right.

"This is gonna make for an interesting morning." I told him, snuggling close. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me over to lay my head on his chest.

"I've never missed someone like I missed you." I didn't want to hear it, so I just chuckled, hoping it would stop him. "No, I'm being serious. I thought about you everyday, thought about the kids everyday. Thinking about how things could have been if I just would have listened to you. I'm so fucking sorry you had to do this on your own, Logan." He grabbed my face soft, rolling it up to look at him. He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

Why did I still feel this way? Why was it like no time had passed, and I left this place yesterday and came right back? Why did my heart still hur this way, still miss him this way? I hated this; I hated it so much. But I didn't hate it enough to not have sex with him four more times that night.

Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't sleep much that night; I had too much on my mind. No one was awake yet, so I tried to be quiet. I got dressed and fixed my hair so it wasn't such a mess. Jax didn't budge, I smiled looking over him; sleeping like a fucking child.

I crept quietly down the hall and into the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee. The clubhouse was a mess but the crow eaterr would take care of that once they woke up. I leaned against the kitchen counter, pouring myself a cup of black coffee. I sipped the hot drink, thinking about last night and the past, fuck, 30 years of my life.

Most of those memories included Jaxon Teller and the love I had for him. But love and compatibility were two very different things; sometimes love wasn't enough. Time and time again it proved to be correct, seeing as we always fell away from each other; but we found each other again, every single time.

I peered over my coffee cup, seeing her like a ghost; Wendy. I dropped my cup, shattering it and coffee going everywhere.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she shot at me, nearly running across the room and getting in my face.

"The better question is what the fuck are you doing here?" I spat back at her; it wasn't the better question. I had been gone for 15 years, neither of us should have been here.

"Huh-uh honey." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You left, too. Or did you forget that?" The last time I spoke to her I was more than awful; I deserved everything she was going to spew at me. But she deserved everything, too. What she did to Abel.. ABEL. Fuck.

"Why are you here, Wendy?"

She chuckled, kicking a broken piece of glass from my coffee mug across the room. I sighed. "Why don't you ask the cock that was inside of me three nights ago? You know, the one that was in you last night?" She gave me a grin fit for a cunt just like her. I wanted to break down, but I didn't. It wasn't worth it.

I saved that for five minutes later.

"Morning Ma," I looked up to see my son; her son. She spun around, looking him up and down, all over. It was silent for a minute. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Abel?" Wendy questioned, her tone softer and more feeble. He raised an eyebrow to her.

"Do I know you?"

And I lost it. I couldn't do this, I wouldn't do this. I left the coffee mess right where it was on the floor and ran out the back door, having a panic attack. I couldn't catch my breath and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I leaned against the building, tears falling from my eyes like rain drops. I turned around, leaning my back against the building, sliding down it to the ground. I was crying so hard; I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, I couldn't barely hear the oor opening when someone came out; It was Chibs.

"What's going on?" he came over and sat down next to me.

"Wendy." Was all I got out. He fell silent, getting back up and walking inside.

I sat out there for what felt like forever until I could compose myself enough to go back inside. There was no sign on Wendy, but Jax was awake and having a cup of coffee with Abel and Nova.

"Where's Alex?" I asked. Jax hopped out of his chair and came running over to me, whispering close.

"I'm so sorry about tha-"

"Don't." And I walked past him, over to our children.

"She's in the bathroom, just woke up a little bit ago. She's in rough shape." Abel and Nova both chuckled at their baby sisters hangover. I sighed, shaking my head. They were just a bunch of bullies.

"So you had a fun night." Nova commented at me with a tone. I smacked the back of her shoulder. "What?" she shot at me, turning her nose up.

"You know what?" I walked behind the bar and grabbed my purse from where I left it the night before, pulling my keys out and a cigarette, lighting it. "You do what you want, act how you want. I'm spending my time here with people who matter and actually give a shit about and respect me." I stormed out of the club house, letting the door slam behind me. I hopped in my car and sped off, heading over to Amandas house.

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 **THIRD PERSON POV**

Logan stormed off out of the clubhouse, leaving her children and husband (ex-husband?) speechless.

"What the fuck is her problem?" Nova shouted, pointing at the door.

For the first time in 15 years Jax spoke up, acting like a father.

"I really hope this isn't how you've talked to your mother these past 15 years. She's been through a lot; more than any of you kids know or will ever understand. The things she needs the least right now is her kids ganging up on her when the whole world already does." Jax shook his head, kicking the bottom of the bar and then turning to head back to his dorm room to shower and get dressed for the day.

Alex exited the bathroom, wiping her mouth from vomitting. She had a hangover from hell with a migraine to match; luckily she found some Tylenol in the bathroom cupboard, throwing back 1000mg as soon as she get the bottle open.

"I thought I heard Mom. Where'd she go?" Nova and Abel were both silent, barely even acknowledging her existance. "Hello? I asked a fucking question." Nova spun around, eyeing her sister up with a deep glare.

"She went back to Amandas. Maybe you should too." Nova always had a way of getting on her sisters nerves, and Alex always had a way of blowing up at her when she did.

"You know, we've been here for 24 hours and you've seemed to literally make this entire trip about you. Newsflash, _Nova Rae_ , it's fucking NOT just about you." Nova hopped off her chair, walking close to her sister and getting face-to-face with her, their noses nearly touching.

"Yeah, I do fucking know that, _Alexis Jade._ But I also fucking know that you ain't got shit to be upset over or to try and get closure with. You don't even fucking remember Dad, or Mom when she was here for that matter. You know absolutely nothing. So, yeah. Maybe this trip isn't just for me, but it's sure as hell not for you. And I guess after Mom got her little fix from Dad last night, it's not for her anymore either. All she gives a fuck about is herself and her sex; she's a biker whore." And Alex lost it.

Her sister wasn't going to say those things about her and she sure as fuck wasn't going to say them about their mother. Alex reacted, grabbing the back of Novas head, holding her hair tight, pulling her down to the ground. Nova responded with the same move, having a harder time get ahold of her sisters dreadlocks. Nova begin slapping Alex in the side of the face, knocking one of her gauges out of her ear. In a quick move Alex pulled Nova all the way to the ground, pinning her down and sitting on top of her. She slapped her across the face a couple times, and just when she got one good hit in her brother and father were running over, putting things to an end.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jax yelled, pulling a squirming Alex still trying to hit off of her sister. Abel helped Nova sit up, who looked far from happy. She had a little cut under her eyes from where Alex had punched her, probably from the fox ring she wore of her index finger. "I am gonna say this one time; I realize my parenting has lacked a whole hell of a lot in your lives, but I'm gonna start right now with this. Nova, you don't get to tell your sister she isn't upset. You think because she doesn't remember me she doesn't get to be upset? I think she has more reason to be upset than you; at least you and Abel remember time with me, the good times. She doesn't have any of that. I have a lot of catching up to do with all of you and a lot of things we should talk about, but you don't get to treat each other like this, and you don't get to treat your mother like that." He walked over closer to Nova who was now sitting in a chair, pressing a wet rag Abel got her to her face. "If I ever hear you say anything like that about your mother again.. I promise you are not too old for me to bend you over my knee and beat your ass like a child; that woman is stronger and has done more than anyone I know in this whole world. I went to jail for you guys, yeah. But it was for her too. And she still got the short end of the stick; I just had to sit in prison for 15 years. She had to raise and support three kids on her own, and that can't be easy. You don't know half of what you think you do, half of the sacrafices she had made for this fucking family, so don't act like you do. 20 or 2, you are _our_ daughter and you will act respectful." He stormed off back into the kitchen, returning with a frozen bag of peas. "Here." He tossed them to Nova and she held them over her eye, still silent; she didn't do well with being yelled at.

Jax walked over to Alex, who was sitting silent in a chair, facing a wall.

"And you?" he sat down in a chair next to her turning it so she could see him in her side-vision. "That's not how you handle your anger; believe me. You don't hurt family like that, you can't go around hitting people everytime you're mad." His mothers words echoed in his head, the words of wisdom she gave him everytime he got into a fist fight. He chuckled. "Fuck." Alex turned to him, eyes questioning. "Don't worry, kid. You'll wake up oneday and realize you're your mother, and everything she ever told you was right." he laughed again. "Fuck." he got out once more.

"Can we change the subject?" Abel asked, over hearing his sisters getting yelled at for acting like two children instead of full-grown adults. They were really becoming a headache for him.

Jax nodded, standing up and grabbing his kutte back up from the bar, slipping it on over his white t-shirt. "I like that idea." Jax looked to his daughters, who both nodded at him. "I figured your mom could use some alone time to cool off and think about some things right now. I thought I could take you guys to a few places I think are important." But Logan Teller would not agree with that; Abel didn't remember his baby brother, thank god, and Nova was way to young to either when it happened. It was an event they decided to leave in the past a long time ago; but Jax decided different that day.

He wasn't going to spend this time making himself look good to his children, or making up lost time. He was going to enjoy the time he had with them and the relationships he was beginning to have, but he wanted to spend this time showing them their mother; the strong woman she really was, and the horrible shit the club brought upon them.

His goal for this two week visit was to ultimately do what he set out to do 15 years ago; get them away from this place, make them hate him and Charming, and for them to never look back. This place was and always would be nothing but darkness and trouble, something he didn't want for his children; a life he could and would still keep them from.

He decided a good place to start was with the cemetary; take care of some of the sad shit before he had to get into the hard shit; like being honest with his son for the first time in his life. As much as Logan never ever wanted him to know she wasn't his biologically mother, he deserved to know. He was 22, it was time to tell the truth.

"You guys go back to Amandas and get changed and shit and I'll meet you there in my car and then we can go where I have planned."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 **Logans POV**

I sat at the table with Amanda, chuckling over our coffee and blunt as we looked through the old photo albums. I had left them in the garage in a box the night I left here, and when her and Opie cleaned everything out she kept them for me just incase I came back or Jax wanted them.

God, the good old days.

"Oh my gosh look," We had just opened the second one, a little newer than the previous one that was from our high school years. This one was from right around the time I had come home. Amanda laid her finger on a picture of my, Donna and Opie from the first day I came home, Opie holding Toby on his side and Donna very _very_ pregnant with Raven. "She was so beautiful." she commented on Opies first wife. Yeah, she was. And a hell of a person. I fucking missed her, so much.

I saw a picture of myself and Gemma next, seeing a nightmare in the background.

"God, she looks awful. Not that she looks much better now." Amanda chuckled, sipping her coffee. "I don't like her at all. She rolled into town about 6 months ago and they've let her do some bartending and cleaning for them. She's a fucking bitch." And that was the truth. "Abel doesn't know, does he?" I shook my head when the door opened.

"Abel doesn't know what?" my son questioned, walking through the door with his sistesr behind him.

I quickly flipped the page, luckily a picture of him from the day he was born pasted to the page.

"How little you were when you were born." I pointed at a picture in the photo album. "You came really early, so you were just a little guy." He glanced at the picture and then headed up to one of the bedrooms, the girls behind him.

I let out a big breath of air, relieved that that didn't head south. I didn't want him to know the truth; not yet. A 22-year-old lie was a big one, one I wasn't sure he was ready for just yet. God, this place brought nothing but drama and crazy that I wasn't ready to handle. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Logan Teller?

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 **A/N- Hey guys, the hubby and I are going to be heading down to Florida early tomorrow morning for vacation for 10 days, so I won't really be writing or updating while we are there, unless I happen to get an unreal amount of reviews, than I just might. I promise as soon as I get back I'll bust my ass to post an update for all of you though no matter what. Keep the reviews coming, I love the feedback! Bad reviews are good, good reviews are better. I love you all!**

 **Wish us luck that Nova's first long-trip goes well! We will be driving for 16 hours! Also let's hope she loves the beach as much as her momma and poppa! I'm SO excited!**

 **-Arri Mason**


	4. Chapter 4

Abel and the girls were quick at the house, in and out. They said they were going back to meet Jax cause he had plans for them for the day. While I had some concern, they weren't scared little children anymore I had some faith that Jax had done some growing in 15-years. Probably not, but keep the faith, right?

"Does being a parent ever get easier?" Amanda grunted, looking down at her phone.

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I don't think so. It hasn't for me. What's your dilemma?"

"Fucking Raven," she pressed send and tossed her phone down on the table. "She's been dating this crazy psycho girl for about a year now and they've been fighting like crazy. Raven said she's gonna have to come stay here for a while cause she's not gonna fight Cassie over their apartment. I thought having a lesbian as a daughter would mean less drama."

I laughed, cause I knew how that was. My youngest sweet little flower child was very into the ladies, and I thought the sme thing. "It's more drama!" She threw her hands in the air agreeing with me. "But I mean, two women? Come on, we should have known." We both laughed together for a minute. I went back to browsing through photo albums. I was really going to have to show these to the kids eventually, cause there were so many memories.

Of course, I'd have to take a few pictures out to avoid suspicious questions I didn't want to answer for them.

I opened a third album, pictures from our wedding first up.

"God, I was so fat."

Amanda rolled her eyes, peering over at the picture. "You were fucking pregnant, not fat."

"I miss being pregnant. I always loved it." I ran my fingers over the picture of me, Jax and Abel, little Nova growing in my tummy. It blew my mind thinking about all the time that's passed by and how things have changed.

"Ope and I tried for a few years for a baby, but it never happened. I'm kind of glad though. I don't know how you did it by yourself with 3. Toby and Raven were enough." She leaned back in her chair, reading another text message from Raven I was assuming. "Well we're gonna have a very full house for the next two weeks."

"Manda, we can get a hotel."

She immediately objected, shaking her head. "Absolutely fucking not. I'm gonna see if Toby would mind Abel staying with him or something."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure Nova wouldn't mind." Whether they realized it or not, I noticed last night that they hit it off. I saw that look in her eyes; that same dangerous look I used to give her father. _Just two weeks, Mom. What's the worst that could happen?_ My sons words echoed through my head. A lot, was the correct answer. I wish I could have erased their memories completely so I never had to worry about any of this.

"Let's hope not. That girl doesn't need wrapped up in Charming drama. As much as I missed you and them, you guys were better off far away from this place."

I laughed. "You're telling me."

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 **THIRD PERSON POV**

Abel, Nova and Alex met Jax back at the clubhouse just like they agreed. He was ouside, smoking a cigarette and bullshitting with Toby while he worked on one of the bikes. Nova wanted to hop out and go talk to him but decided not to. She wouldn't want to leave, and today she was speding time with dad and siblings; she had a lot of time left to spend here with Toby.

"Park your truck over there," Jax pointed to the back of the lot. "We're gonna take my car." The girls got out and headed over, hopping into Jaxs Escalade. Abel parked his truck where his father told him, and then climbed in shotgun. Jax peered in his rearview, seeing the girls. A smile lined his face. "It's crazy that the last time I had you kids in a car with me, you were all in car seats still pretty much."

"So where are we going?" Alex asked, looking around as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"A few places," Jax threw his cigarette out the window and rolled it up. "We're gonna go visit your Gramma first, though." Though they'd be visiting more than that.

"The cemetary?" Nova questioned. "Wicked." Typical.

The family pulled into the cemetary, parking the vehicle off to the side. Jax hopped out, the kids following behind him. He began walking over to a set of tombstones, stopping when he reached the first one.

"Your Gramma would be really proud at how you kids have grown up." Jax brushed his hand against the cold marble.

"Who's John?" Abel asked, looking at the stone directly next to Gemma's.

"That's my dad. He passed away when I was young. He'd be happy to see all of you, too, I'm sure." Jax smiled a bit, thinking of how different things would be if his mother and father were still alive.

"What was Gramma like?" Alex asked, not able to remember her at all.

"Awesome!" Nova and Abel replied at the same thing, turning to each other and letting out a small chuckle.

Alex sighed, so frustrated that she couldn't remeber any of this.

"Now," Jax had thought this through a million and one times, and he always came to the same conclusion. "There's someone else here I think you guys need to meet, too." He walked a few plots down and up a row, to a fimiliar name. "Guys, this is your brother."

All of their faces were undescribable and confused.

"We had a brother?" Abel questioned, trying to remember. "He was only a year younger than Nova."

"Why didn't Mom ever tell us we had another brother?" Alex asked, not sure how to feel about this. Jax sighed and crossed his arms, sitting down on the ground infront of his sons burial place.

"Because it was my fault he died, and she didn't want you guys to know that." But Jax did. He wanted to make sure when his family left Charming this time, they would _never_ want to come back.

"How was it your fault he died?" Both girls asked in unicine.

"Well.. I was on drugs really bad at the time and your mom was busting her ass taking care of you and Abel," he motioned to Nova. "And I was cheating on her. She caught me cheating and lost her mind and it sent her into early labor with him. He was so early he passed away only a few minutes after we was born." Jax felt tears well up in his eyes, ready to burst, but he stopped them. His children weren't going to see him cry, that was damn sure.

"Why wouldn't Mom tell us that? That's fucked up that she would keep that from us. Wow." Was Nova Rae's reply. Jax shook his head.

"Do you ever give her a fucking break?" he shot at his middle daughter, standing up and heading back over to the car. "Let's fucking go." He had finally realized what he left Logan to deal with, and he had never felt worse. If he was there all those years those kids would have _never_ spoken to or about their mother like that. She had done way too much for all of them for that to happen. Jax got in and locked the doors, so his kids couldn't get in while he made a phone call. They all three just stood there, giving him a confused look.

"Hello?" Logan answered, her and Amanda pausing their conversation.

"Hey.." Jax wasn't sure how to say it, so he just came out and said it. "I think it's time to tell Abel the truth. I'm telling him today, Logan. He deserves to know."

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 **Logans POV**

I dropped my phone straight down on the ground, feeling my body go cold and numb. I was started to shake beyond my control, and I just wanted to scream. My eyes welled up so full of tears, they over flowed and poured out without me even having to blink.

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked, laying her hand on my shoulder.

"Jax wants to tell Abel. He wants to tell him I'm not his biological mother."

Amanda gave me the saddest look I think anyone could give another person.

"What're you going to do?" she asked me.

I quickly stood up and grabbed my phone off the floor. Jax had already ended the call, so I was guessing I didn't have a whole lot of time. I gathered my things up, grabbing my purse, keys and cigarettes.

"I gotta go." I told her through my tears. "I need to stop this. Or be there for this. _Fuck_ I don't know what I'm going to do, or what I should do. I just don't fucking know." I opened her door, standing there for a minute. "22 years are about to go down the drain." I told her and I left. I don't think I had even driven so fast in Charming in my life. I got to the Club House in 15 minutes, seeing Jaxs car and bike already there, no one in sight. I was out of my car before it had even come to a complete stopping, leaving my keys inside of it. I didn't care.

I absolutely lost my mind when I walked into the club house and saw Jax sitting a table with all of our children, looking more serious than I had ever seen him.

"Oh, hey Mom!" Abel said. That was a good sign. "Dad was just telling us he had something he needed to tell us. Well, me I guess."

"Jax." It barely came out, it was mousey and high pitched. I ran my hand through my hair, letting out a big breath. "Please." I begged at him. He stood up from the table and walked over to me, urshering me into the meeting room. "Don't tell him." I begged as soon as we got inside.

"Logan," he looked at the ground for a second. "He deserves to know the truth. Especially with her being around here. Would you rather her tell him?" That sent electricity up my spine, striking awake some type of evil and hate I've never felt.

"Fuck no!" I shouted.

"Then we need to tell him."

I kicked the bottom of the door, making it shake. He was right. And I hated that more than anything. Without another word we both walked out and I pulled up a chair, sitting down next to him.

"Are you gonna tell us what's going on?" Alex asked, leaning back in her chair.

I let out another big breath.

"We have something we need to tell your brother.." And a few tears rolled out again.

"Mom," he reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I couldn't do this. I didn't want to do this. I just looked over to Jax, and he knew what it meant.

"Abel," he started. "Your mom and I remember the day you were born just like it was yesterday." he smiled at that, and so did the girls cause the same was true for both of them as well. "It was a crazy day, but a great day. You were born, and your mom came home to live for the first time in 4 years."

His expression changed to confused. "What?" he laughed out. Nova chuckled with him. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Abel," I opened up. "I'm... I'm not your real mother."

"What." It was dull and dark; I had never seen this emotion come from him before. Fuck.

 **Thank you guys so much for being patient with me! Vacation was GREAT. We had a blast, and Nova loved the beach and meeting my husbands family! She's for sure a water and beach baby, no doubt. However, it's back to the real world now. The school year is coming to an end, so I'll be a little busy until the end of this month, but will try to get a much done and posted as possible, when I can. I love all of you!**

 **And remember.. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Bad reviews are good, good reviews are better.**


	5. Chapter 5

**SCHOOL IS OUT FOR THE SUMMER! Which means I have a lot more free time on my hands now. I really apologize for how long this update took, but life has been crazy and hectic. I promise I'll be writing and updating a lot more now whenever I can.**

 **OTHER GREAT NEWS...We are expecting baby #2 in December! Lil Miss Nova is being promoted to big sister! A little sooner than we wanted, but I got this haha. Anyways, here's the new chapter!**

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"Abel, please." I tried to reach across the table for his hand, but his pulled it away as quick as a bolt of lighting. I felt my heart break into a million pieces.

"No." His tone was still so flat. This was such a big mistake. "You two have lied to me for over 20 years?" He stood up quick, nearly flipping the chair upside down.

"Abel Christopher!" Jax yelled to him, but he just kept walking until he was out the door and let it slam behind him. Jax hurried out after him while I sat at the table, the girls quiet and gazing off into nothingness.

"Holy fuck." Nova said. I burried my head in my hand and lost all control, screaming and crying, my hands filling with saline. The girls, even though I'm sure they didn't want to, both hugged and held onto me tight while I sobbed like a small child.

 **Abels POV**

I got outside, my head racing and running a million different ways. Finding out you've been lied to your entire life wasn't exactly an easy thing to deal with. Knowing that I came face to face with my real mother without even knowing.. I just didn't know how to feel.

I ran down to the end of the garage where Dad let me keep my bike, hopping on quick and taking off. I watched Dad run towards his, hopping on it and taking off after me. I wasn't sure where I was even going, but anywhere was better than here. I took a bunch of random turns, up and down a few alleys to lose my dad, and it worked.

I came to some random little shit-show bar, parking my bike on the side of the building and heading inside. I needed to be alone, and I needed beer.

There weren't that many people there, only 4. I took a seat at the end of the bar, all by myself. I waited for a few minutes when a bartender emerged from the back, carrying a case of Miller Lite bottles to put in the coolers.

"Hey, sorry." she greeted me with a bright white smile. Her hair was long and golden brown, almost a dirty blonde. Lots of waves in it, and she had one small braid on the side that wrapped around to the back. Her shorts were short and her legs were long, her light brown skin looking like it was kissed by a sun god. She was tall and fit, perfect in every way.

I was so caught up in here, every detail of her body and face, I literally jumped when she was practically yelling at me asking what drink I wanted.

"Off into space, eh?" She questioned, fulfulling my request of a Budweiser.

"A lot of my mind." Was my reply. She checked to make sure her other patrons were taken care of before pulling up a seat on the other side of the bar, infront of me. She pulled out a Marlboro red from her cigarette pack and lit it, taking a long drag.

"It happens," she ashed her cigarette and sat it down in the ashtray. "Never seen you in here before, we don't have a lot of new comers. But I'm Nina, the main bar maiden. Well, sometimes it seems like I'm the only bar maiden." She chuckled.

"Abel." I took a swig of my beer and sat it down, lighting myself a cigarette immediately after. "Yeah, I've uh only been drinking over at my dads clubhouse."

Her eye brows raised up at me, her position shifting. "Clubhouse? Are you one of the SONs or something?"

I chuckled, finishing my cigarette and my beer, motioning for another. "Nah. Old man was, is. I ain't even from here, just in town visiting and letting my life get fucked up I guess." I laughed. I was a ball of fucking shit emotion and just wasn't sure how to take care of it all.

"Ah, I gotcha." She didn't seem put off by that fact. She must have been a Charming resident her entire life. "My sisters boyfriend was a prospect for them a few years ago til he got blown up doing some shit he shouldn't have been. Shit happens though." She went back to cleaning up glasses and cups and throwing out empty bottles. "So how long are you in Charming for?"

"Supposed to be two weeks but I'm not so sure of that anymore." I laughed, but I wasn't joking. My parents just dropped the biggest bombshell of my entire life on me and I wasn't sure how I was going to or needed to deal with it. Should I go meet this woman? I mean _really_ meet her. Do I just let it go like nothing? It doesn't change who my mother is, it didn't bother me like that. Blood didn't mean shit to me; that woman was there the day they brought me home, she was _my_ mother. But they lied for so long. Maybe I couldn't understand because I wasn't a parent, but holy fuck I needed to.

I was mad, but I heard my mother cry when I walked out. I heard that crack in her voice. It was obviously something she never wanted me to know, but Dad had other ideas. It seemed like my Dad had completely opposing views of this trip than my Mom did. This was going to make for an interesting two weeks.

I sat and just talked with Nina about anything and everything that either of us brought up while the bar cleared out, one by one. Soon it was just the two of us and we were both having a great time. I decided it was time to check my phone; it has been a few hours.

I had missed texts and calls galore from both my parents, mostly Mom though. I sent her a quick text saying I would meet her back at Amandas so we could talk and I could let her know how I felt. I just found out about my little brother I never knew about and that my Mom wasn't the one who gave birth to me all in one day. I needed a fucking break.

"Well I know it's a little straight forward," she scribbled something down on a napkin and handed it my way. "But I get off at 4. Gimme a call and maybe we can meet up, go do something." I wasn't going to object to that. I was so infatuated with her, I wanted to spend a lot more time with her.

I hopped off the stool and shoved her number in my pocket and grabbing my helmet. I left her a $10 tip and went on my way. I needed to get back and talk to Mom and Dad about all of this.

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 **Logans POV**

I had cried for what seemed like hours, though only about an hour at most. The girls just sat with me and let me cry, assuring me Abel would come around and be back. It was a lot for him, and them, to take in.

"I get it." Alex assured me. "You made the best decision. If you've literally been there since the day he was born, you _are_ his mother. And after what his real one did, I don't blame you for that decision."

 _Real one._ The term hissed in my head. I was his real fucking mother. I raised him. I took care of him. I was the one he called Momma when he said it for the first time. I raised him with Jax. We were his fucking parents. Not that stupid cunt. I should have killed her when I had the opportunity.

"Mom, really. He just needs to cool off." Nova tried once again to console me, but neither of the girls were helping me out with this.

It was a relief when Jax came back in, but not once he let the door slam.

"He lost me. I couldn't find him." He grabbed two beers from behind the bar, sliding one to me. "He just needs time to cool off."

I stood up, slamming my hands down on the table. "I'm tired of fucking hearing that." And the tears started again. "He doesn't need time to cool off. He hates me. Our son fucking hates me, Jax."

"No I don't."

I spun around and saw my boy, his expression better than what it was when he left the clubhouse.

"I could never hate you, Mom." He walked over and gave me the biggest and tightest hug he ever has, letting me cry. I may have been the parent, but I felt more like the child at this point. "I just needed a minute to take all this in. It's a lot."

Before I could say anything else to him or him to me, Nova butted in.

"Well, listen, since this family melt down is over, I have a few things I need to take care of. Cab is here, gotta go." And she was out the door.

This was going to be a long fucking two weeks.

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 **Novas POV**

I had to get out of there, this family was too much for me. If I had to deal with this drama my entire life.. Christ.

I hopped in the taxi and gave him Toby's address. We made plans last night to meet up for a bit today. Since we had met we clicked together like a puzzle and were talking non-stop. It was nice to see him be so interested in everything I had to say, just like I was interested in all the things he had to tell me that I've missed since we left 15 years ago.

I hung on to every word he had to say. Plus he was really into music, which was a plus. That's what we were going to be doing today; he was going to help me with a few mixes I was working on.

The taxi dropped me off and I headed to the door, knocking. It was only a few seconds before he answered. I was so excited to get to work with him on some stuff and just hang out.

"Hey!" He looked so happy to see me. I walked in and he shut the door behind me.

And then pushed me up against the wall, kissing me hard. I ropped my bags and jumped up on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. I tangled my fingers through his hair while he carried me down the hall.

Alright, so maybe I was excited for more than the music and just talking. Oops.

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 **I hope you guys liked the chapter! Again, so sorry it took so long to update. Jay and I also just got moved into our new house and are getting settled in! I will try to have the next chapter up quicker than this one, but getting the house set up and adjusting to being pregnant again while also taking care of Nova full time and trying to get things together for thew new school year... So much craziness going on. But like always, reviews keep me going! I love all of my readers, you guys are amazing!**

 **Also, I will be finding out in two weeks what baby #2 is... Leaving your gender guesses in a review!**

 **Until next time! Love you guys!**


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